I want to Line the Pieces up Yours and Mine

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well I did something today that was extremely hard for me, I dropped a good friend because they were an abusive friend and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore, like it was bringing out sides of me I didn’t even know I had. And I don’t think people are meant to to deal with that kind of emotional manipulation. SIgh it gives me a lot of anxiety because I care about them and I hate giving up and I hate losing people but I think I did the right thing and I hope I don’t go back on it this time, it should be easier now that I have this person blocked from everything.

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anagnori:

Oh, and while we’re talking about sex-repulsed people:

  • It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed because you have experienced sexual abuse or trauma in your past.
  • It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed because sex feels painful, uncomfortable or frightening to you.
  • It’s okay if you’re sex-repulsed and there’s no “cause” for it, it’s just how you’ve always been.
  • It’s okay if you feel sex-repulsed sometimes and not repulsed at other times, or if you’ve become more/less sex-repulsed over time.
  • It’s okay to be afraid of sex.
  • It’s okay to think that sex is disgusting.
  • It’s okay to like reading/watching fictional sex but not want it in real life.
  • It’s okay to be repulsed by some sexual things but not by other sexual things.
  • None of the above things make your feelings weird, messed-up or unhealthy.
  • You don’t need to “overcome” your dislike of sex. If you’re happier without sex, then that’s great, you don’t need to change.
  • If you want to become more comfortable with sex, or if you think therapy will help you be happier with yourself, then that’s fine, too.
  • If your partner wants you to do something sexual that you’re not comfortable with, then they’re the one in the wrong, and they need to stop. Your feelings and comfort are important, and you never owe sex to anyone.
  • If your partner wants you to change, or to stop being sex-repulsed or asexual, then they are wrong. You deserve a partner who loves you the way you are, respects your feelings, and doesn’t ask you to change for them.
  • You do not need to be sex-positive, or willing to have sex, in order to be a “healthy” or “normal” asexual person.
  • Some sex-repulsed people aren’t asexual-spectrum. All of the above applies to them, too!
  • Whatever your feelings about sex are, it is perfectly okay to feel the way you do, and there is nothing bad, abnormal or wrong about your feelings.

I agree except ¨You do not need to be sex-positive¨ doesn’t being sex positive mean being accepting of all healthy and consensual sexual choices including not having sex?

(via tenderagender)

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Codependency isn’t sexy. It isn’t romantic. It’s built with a fuse and will surely burn out. The healthiest thing you can say to the one you love is, “I would be okay without you, and that’s why I choose to stay.”
LB, A Few Things About Love (via dangervvank)

(via tyleroakley)